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Gypsy Soul

Like moth's to a flame they come whirling toward me, like the waters of a rolling rapid on the brink of a falling curtain of water. My dreams overwhelm my mind, my body, my soul, and spirit. I feel the breeze and I have a pull to flow wherever it happens to be blowing, to be a gypsy traveling on the tail of the wind. I gaze upon the cloud filled sky and see a bird soaring the heavens, it's freedom beckon's to me, whispering the dreams that I buried years ago. Like sky nymphs they tease and tantalize my senses, reminding me of what it truly means to be living on this planet. We are not meant to be prisoners of these concrete towers that house the many things that occupy our wasting time. The dragon guarding our sky-scraping tower is fear in our minds, and we are our own knight's in shining armor.

F**k'ing Pissed: Not for the Faint of Heart!

There has been an anger welling inside me for quite some time now. An intense, red hot, boiling, anger. Today it has broken free from the cage I have been attempting to contain it in. If I could I would have absolutely no problems killing anyone today. I look at the world and I see disease, sickness, hate, mal-content... the world is a cluster fuck of disgusting. I see people fighting for stupid causes and ignoring those truly in need. Who the fuck cares who has the 1% of the money! Without corporations millions would be out of jobs and you wouldn't be able to buy your god damn shirt for $15 cheaper... Or did you fail to realize that most of the clothes we wear are made in what amounts to a sweat shop in China? Get real, and quit being a damn fool. I have anger at myself for doing stupid shit, like unprotected sex. I am so fucking tired of people taking advantage and me letting them. It stops today! You think I want another fucking kid!!! I don't, so now I am pissed... Hoping that the red flow of happiness will happen soon, right fucking now would be fucking awesome! I have never dwell'ed in my anger for so long, right now I am stewing in it, I want to cuss someone out, scream my lungs out, take a baseball bat to a car.... I normally let myself get angry, then work through it so it will go away. But today, today I am letting it engulf me. I am so pissed that a man can sleep with you, then leave, like I am some in town fuck... Nothing more, I am worth a lot fucking more than that. Or the fact that they would lie to me about who they are, let me fall in love, move around with them, and then turn out to be a big fucking alcoholic liar. I am so fucking tired of fake ass people, fake smiles, laughs, cries.... I am tired of people fucking complaining about every fucking thing! I am on FaceBook way too much, admitted, and every time I see a post that says something along the lines of "could this day get any worse?" or stupid fucking shit like "oh geez lost my brush guess I have to use a comb" I want to stab my fucking eyes out and send them to you and say get the fuck over your stupid little fucking drama and live your god damn life, because I am so fucking tired of hearing about you complaining about everything. I am fucking pissed at myself that I need the "approval" of others to feel ok with myself. I mean what the fuck! I am not a fucking super model, sometimes my skin is not how I want it to be, sometimes my fucking hair is ridiculous, I have a flabby stretched out stomach, a short fat geographic tongue, crooked teeth that stick out, a big fucking ass, and hobbit feet!! Who the fuck cares, I don't know why I give two flying fucks what other people think about me! Because when I am alone by myself I could give a fuck, really.... Another thing, who the fuck made you so all high and mighty, all fucking meditative all the time? It just all seems and feels so fucking fake and unnatural. Get the fuck over yourself. I am pissed at my son, at myself, at my parents... Answer me this, how can you call yourself a dad, and then proceed to not talk to your son in almost 2 fucking years and not keep up with child support payments that ensure he has new clothes, etc.? Stupid fucking bastard!!! I truly fucking hate you! Which is a very strong word, and I mean every bit of it. I feel horns definitely tilting my halo today...

Little Girl

Small hands
Small tears
Life something of a nightmare
So small, such big fears

I begin to weep at the thought of me
So small,
so brave
Nothing breaking spirit,
Even when the body is broke by other's hands

Small hands
Small tears

Little girl inside,
I see you,
no longer do you need to hide

Call out,
Scream out,
Sing out.
You are free,
be who you are to be

Small hands
Small tears
Big fears

Do not fear who you are,
I am here to catch you if you fall

My small hands
My small tears
My big fears

My Childhood Dream, The Soul of Me

I remember being a young girl sitting in front of a mirror and singing. Making up songs and dreaming about someday being one of the great singers that I had grown up seeing on our little television. Along my way across this path of my life, I began to bury my love for singing, only letting my voice out when I had moments of great joy. I hid my one childhood dream away, in a place inside myself where the hatred, abuse, and fears could not touch it. It is the part of me that is the purest expression of my soul, and I kept it safe and hidden most of my life. I have never lost my passion for music, it has always been with me, and in great moments of joyous passion I sing to the sky, and my soul glows out through every fiber of my being. I have been looking at my life recently, looking at all the things I enjoy and all the hobbies I have acquired, I was trying to find one thing that I have had my whole life, that one thing that makes the stars shine in my world, and when I reflected back on my life I found that when I am singing is when I feel truly alive. It is the thing I want to be when I grow up, the dream I have had since I was a child. I want to sing out loud, proud, and true. I want to collaborate and sing with friends, even if it is just in our living rooms that the reverberating sound waves are shared. I am done hiding this part of myself that I have hidden for so long. But where does a soul singer begin? For I want to grow through this part of myself while collaborating with others, maybe this is the reason I have attracted so many friends who are musicians/singer’s themselves… Time to reach out and touch someone 

Listen To The World With Something Other Than Your Ears...

I hear the world through more than what my ears can perceive. I listen with my body and soul. Sounds reverberate and vibrate through me like a tuning fork preparing me for the energy offered from the sound. The pulse in my chest and the rhythm of the music... All reaching down deep inside of me and stirring its great energy with mine. In nature, did you know the tree's talk? The wind blows through the leaves, the tree echoes back that powerful energy. Placing hands on the bark I can feel the immense energy and wisdom that is more than what even the tree can physically hold. When I want to really see something I will close my eyes, open myself up, and dance in the energy of that which I am "seeing". People, animals, reptiles, everything we can see and everything we cannot has an energy and a vibration. So, I say:

Listen to the world with something other than your ears,
See with something other than your eyes,
Feel with something other than your skin,
And love with all your heart and soul.
Tune, Vibrate, Reciprocate, and Love the very energy that is us all, that is everything.
For, everything we can see and cannot is in fact energy...

A Morning of Me...

It is rare that I am able to have a quiet and peaceful morning. The only stir in the house if of the cats playing, and the gently hum of the fans. I need times like these. They are an opportunity to slow down, and to simply enjoy being in the company of myself. I am a social being, but I am also a hermit. I cherish and greatly enjoy being alone, with no other energies swirling around me but my own. These are the times that I realize how much of an empath I am, and how many emotions I pick up from others. A breath of fresh air on this morning, and a magickal start to a magickal day. I look forward to being able to wake early on other mornings, doing yoga, and drinking some tea while listening to great music while expressing my thoughts.
Namaste