First off I would like to share that if you have never been single for a period of longer than a couple months, or longer, you should try it! It really gives you time with yourself and figure out what you believe and what you want in life... That said I have come to many realizations about myself over the last few months. First, as wedding gowns are very beautiful, I do not believe in marriage. I think that if you are living happily with someone and things are extraordinarily wonderful then why would you feel you need a piece of paper to "make official" your relationship. In my eyes marriage should have stayed in the medieval times. That said I do not believe in monogamy. I would like to know who sat down and decided that the human spirit/soul/etc. could only be in a loving relationship with one person. Can it happen? Hell yes, but for it to be a "social norm" is something that is hard for me to wrap my mind around. You can never own a person, their spirit, or even their love. I have no expectations where romantic relationships are concerned. I have come to find peace in letting things go, and be, as they will be. If it turns out that I spend the rest of my life with one person than that is wonderful, if not that is wonderful too. I feel that as humans we put too many expectations on things. On happiness, work, our children, lovers, friends, etc. There seems to be such a need to "control" our lives that in engulfs our very being. It's a strange paradigm but by letting go and "giving up the control" to a higher power, if you will, is so freeing. I feel freer now than I ever did when I was trying to control how people, things, feelings, etc. were going in my life. I have no control, and really none of us do.

I have had many people try to label me to one specific group or another, or try to figure out "my type" if you will. The truth is, as most of you know, I hate labels. If we feel we can describe a person under one umbrella of other people would it make us more inclined, or declined, to get to know them? I have come to find that there is no norm, in any aspect of life. We are all unique; yes we may share some similarities but no one person is exactly like any other person. So isn't it a time for the social constructs that we have been gripping to so tightly to finally go? I think so.

Bear with me here I have a lot on my mind and will be jumping around from topic to topic. Hahaha.... really just my evil genius plan to annoy the crap out of you :D *super big, but evil, smile*

Oh jealousy jealousy jealousy..... What can anyone really say but..... WTF? I have only been able to really answer this by experiencing and letting go of it first hand. Let’s think about this for a minute. Why would someone get jealous? God a million reasons, right? Maybe one partner is being "unfaithful" to the arrangements that they had both decided there relationship would be based on (i.e. monogamous relationship, etc.) and their insecurities and dishonesty makes them suspect their partner. Or maybe one person is sooo insecure that it starts causing problems. It feels to me that sometimes it even feels like an "ownership" thing (which might be why I dislike the idea of marriage so much as well). The list could really go on forever it really depends on what the person is going through to get to the point of "no trust" which in turn creates jealousy. So how does one let these feelings go? By letting go of control, your insecurities, being totally and completely honest with everything (even if it hurts), and by having no expectations. Sounds simple enough right? Oh boy, re-training the mind is such a fun thing... But it can be done. I have gotten to the point where I am just truly happy for people, and want them to feel and experience true happiness. I feel liberated. Like I can just love and accept situations and people as they are and wish for their true happiness, whatever that may be with no expectations. There seems to be a theme here right? Haha YeS! The expectations, bad, just cause problems.... So let go and free yourselves. I love you all deeply, and I hope that my psycho-babble made some sort of sense :)

~Anna